By MONTE DUTTON
I never thought I’d read books on my phone.
Or watch sports called cornhole and pickleball on TV.
Then again, I never thought I’d hear of a fellow named David Pecker, though I have to admit it’s an apt name for the guy who ran National Enquirer.
This reminds me of an incident many years ago involving one of my nephews.
He asked me to draw a bird. I complied. He looked at it closely and said finally, ” It don’t have a pecker.”
This made me nervous.
“No, not that kind of pecker,” he said. “You know, what it pecks with.”
A beak.
“Oh, yeah. I can fix that right up.”
I think, well, just what is not a sport?
Then I remember what I once watched on ABC’s Wide World of Sports. An ice skater jumping beer barrels in Lake Placid, N.Y.; figure-eight stock-car races from Islip, Long Island, log rolling and other manly lumberjack pursuits from Hayward, Wis.; and ski jumping from Planica, Slovenia.
I could stand the occasional demolition derby.
Some sports that have limited exposure are commercially viable in my estimation.
I really like those off-road races on dirt courses. I think the ruling body is SCORE. Nah, SCORE sanctions the races that really are off road, as in across the desert. It stands for Southern California Off Road Enthusiasts.
Anyway, I’ve watched several events from Crandon, Wis., on TV, and it made me wish I’d written about one of those.
This is unofficial, but it’s the best Clovis Simmons could come up with as she and her team prepared Tuesday for its opening-round Class 3A boys’ tennis victory over Fountain Inn.
Clinton, 9-1 to date this season, has won 24 consecutive region titles.
The Red Devils defeated Fountain Inn, 5-2, in the first round and play Walhalla on Thursday in round two at 5 p.m..
Clinton won four singles matches: Nathan Meade, Edwin Orr, Matthew King and Jacob King.
Meade and Orr won at No. 1 doubles.
Clinton 5, Fountain Inn 2
# 1 Singles, Nathan Meade defeated Keller Davis 6 – 0, 6 – 0; # 2 Singles, Edwin Orr defeated Tom Fowler 6 – 0, 6 – 2; # 3 Singles, Matthew King defeated Joseph Siliato 6 – 2, 6 – 4; # 4 Singles, Jacob King defeated Jackson Manning 6 – 1, 6 – 0; # 5 Singles, Malakye Brewer lost to Patrick Manning 6 – 4, 6 – 0.
# 1 Doubles, Meade & Orr (CHS) defeated Davis & Fowler 6 – 2, 6 – 2; #2 Doubles, Brady Mason & Ethan Wargo lost to Lucas Enlow & Kellett King 6 – 0, 6 – 0.
An improving Laurens program also won its first-round 4A match over Catawba Ridge, 5-1, in Fort Mill.
Bates Turner, Price Turner, Dylan Brink, Carson Jenkins and Gibson Partee all captured their singles matches.
The Raiders visit South Aiken on Thursday.
LDHS had a signing day on Wednesday in which nine announced intentions to compete at several institutions of higher learning.
Committed in baseball are Asher Goss and Jordan Hudson to Florence-Darlington Tech, Hunter Nabors to Coker (Hartsville), Owen Pridgen to Southeastern Community College (Whiteville, N.C.) and Josh Hughes to Erskine.
In football, Odarrious Grant is off to Erskine and Malik Jackson to Limestone.
Damian Patrick is ticketed for track at Averett University (Danville, Va.).
Alexia Jackson is to play soccer at Spartanburg Methodist.
Laurens Academy softball put a 20-0 hurt on Calhoun Falls that was all Crusaders and mostly Olivia Huck.
Ms. Huck:
Went 3/4 at the plate with two home runs, two runs scored and eight batted in.
Pitched three near-perfect innings, allowing only a walk and striking out eight.
Huck got plenty of help. Morgan Bolding doubled, was 2/2, scored three and drove in four. Catherine Riddle was 2/3. Abby Howard doubled.
Seven batters combined for 11 hits.
The Crusaders made quick work of the Flashes, then flashed back to Laurens.
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