What do jury duty, a broken tooth, a peanut butter shake and Lindsey Wilson have in common? Me!


Clinton, South Carolina, Thursday, September 20, 2018, 11:40 a.m.

By Monte Dutton

I had jury duty but wasn’t selected. Since every day, I put together arrest reports and talk to law enforcement officers about various crimes, I suppose this is hardly a surprise.

In this part of the state, Florence, which hit the Carolinas coast as a hurricane but staggered through here like a tottering drunk, luck was with us. My electricity didn’t ever go out.

Who ever broke a tooth while eating a soggy bowl of Raisin Bran? It happened while I was writing about a football game at 1 in the morning. My first thought was, I’m suing Kelloggs because there’s a human tooth in this box of cereal. Then I realized it was mine. Sorry, Kellogg’s. I only thought it for a few seconds. I’m not in pain. I don’t even bleed when I brush my teeth. It’ll be next week before my dentist tells me what has to be done about this.


I had a checkup on Wednesday. I’ve lost 12 pounds. I felt about the same way about the scale that I did about the cereal, but I’m glad whatever I’m doing has worked. Sweaty football sidelines must have something to do with it. I celebrated on the way to Lake Greenwood (to shoot a video) by enjoying a peanut butter shake on the way. Thus have I probably lost 10 pounds now. I’ve never understood how a person can gain more weight than what a fattening food weighs. I don’t doubt the science. I accept climate change, too.


West Nile Virus has appeared in the county at both ends, in the southern (“Southeast Quadrant”) end by a person and in the northern end by a dead bird. They’re spraying the pusher mosquitoes who spread the poison. West Nile cannot be spread by human contact, so I don’t have to worry about falling in love, which has happened as recently as a decade ago.

Tonight there’s a candidates’ forum for those who seek to join the school board in District 55. My plan is to stop off at Clinton Middle School, which is here in District 56, to shoot a few photos of the high school tennis match, on the way.


I’ll miss the Presbyterian College football home opener because it conflicts with the NASCAR race in Richmond, which duty calls me to watch on TV. I’ll get another shot next Thursday night, when a school in Kentucky called Lindsey Wilson College plays the Blue Hose as a replacement for Stetson University. PC’s scheduled game with the Hatters was doffed by Florence the Rapidly Diminishing Storm last Saturday.

The opponent this Saturday night is Bluefield (Va.) College, which is across the state line from Bluefield State (W. Va.) College. The team venturing here is known as the Rams. The team arriving Thursday night is known as the Blue Raiders. Lindsey Wilson College is named after the late son of Catherine Wilson, whoever she was. The school has been around since 1903 and started requiring four years to graduate in 1986.

I hope Lindsey Wilson brings Blue Raider Bob. He’s the mascot, according to Wikipedia.

The Barrie Jarman Adventures (Gabe Whisnant photo)

If you become a patron of mine, you’re supporting writing like this as well as my mostly NASCAR blogs at montedutton.com. If you’ve got a few bucks a month to spare, click here.

Another way I cobble out a living is with my books, a wide variety of which is available for sale here.

(Steven Novak cover)


The new novel, my eighth, is called Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

Lightning in a Bottle is now available in an audio version, narrated by Jay Harper.


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