I don’t know whether it’s depressing because it really is or because I’m getting old and cranky.
Perhaps I’m just starting to suspect that my labors have all been in vain.
So little of what I wanted to achieve in life is done. Every day is a new day, but the passage of each pushes me deeper and deeper into the corner. Life is closing in as I get ever more radical in my solutions and the feverish nature of getting something done … before I’m done.
I must aspire to greatness, even while being able to accept it if and when I fall short. I expect most people die feeling as if they’ve fallen short. It’s easier for others to grade on a curve.
A man (or woman) must cling to dreams. They may not come true, but what hopes flicker in the ether exist from refusing to give up.
The odds of success seem more likely in the sunny outlook of youth. As the fish get bigger, so too do the waters in which they swim, and life winds its way through streams, makes little progress while held up by dams, escapes suddenly and rushes forward, at some point, into a broad ocean of infinite mystery, there to languish in futility.
Fortunately, I can write about it. I can even laugh about it. In time, so, too, does comedy darken.
Everyone’s life is a comedy when viewed in the proper light, or lack thereof.
I’ve written four novels and a collection of short stories. I’ve also written a number of books about sports, mostly about NASCAR. You can find most of them here.
The Kindle versions of my books, where available, can be found above. Links below are to print editions.
I’ve written a crime novel about the corrosive effects of patronage and the rise and fall of a powerful politician and his dysfunctional family, Forgive Us Our Trespasses.
I’ve written about what happens to a football coach when he loses everything, Crazy of Natural Causes.
I’ve written a tale of the Sixties in the South, centered on school integration and a high school football team, The Intangibles.
I’ve written a rollicking yarn about the feds trying to track down and manipulate a national hero who just happens to be a pot-smoking songwriter, The Audacity of Dope.
I’ve written a collection of 11 short stories, all derived from songs I wrote, Longer Songs.
Follow me on Twitter @montedutton, @hmdutton (about writing), and/or @wastedpilgrim (more opinionated and irreverent). I’m on Facebook (Monte.Dutton), Instagram (TUG50), and Google-Plus (MonteDuttonWriter).