Bouncing Like a Rubber Ball

My moods are fleeting as the novel Crazy of Natural Causes spreads crazily. (Monte Dutton sketch)
My moods are fleeting as the novel Crazy of Natural Causes spreads crazily. (Monte Dutton sketch)

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been manic-depressive about my writing.

It’s not clinically manic-depressive. It’s predictable and controllable. It’s just that, while I’m writing, I generally think it’s really good, and, then, the next time I read it, I consider it unsalvageable, and, on third read, I feel I have some balance.

 

The sun also rises. (Monte Dutton photo)
The sun also rises. (Monte Dutton photo)

I have a new novel, my third, that has just been released. Last week, I was really optimistic. Now I’m really pessimistic. I’ve got a sinking feeling about Crazy of Natural Causes. It’s not reasonable.

It just is.

What I love about writing a book is the challenge. It’s exciting to create characters and live through them as I write. I get to know them. I think the way they think. I write, and I rewrite, and I modify, and I revise, and, at some point, I’m pleased with what I’ve done. Sometimes it’s fleeting.

Like … now.

Chance Benford changes drastically. He goes from being amoral, perhaps even immoral, to being moral. He remains flawed. He just learns to accept life as it is, relentlessly absurd, and comes to grips with making his way through a crazy world.

Mixed messages.  (Monte Dutton photo)
Mixed messages. (Monte Dutton photo)

Hence the title.

I’ve gone from “this is where I turn the corner” to “nothing ever works.” In the past three years, I’ve taken my lumps. I never stop trying. I’m committed to my craft. If it’s not good enough, the next one will be better.

Writing preserves my sanity. It makes me happy when nothing else will. I could no more stop writing than I could stop breathing. It is my salvation. How nice it would be to make a living at it. One day my writing is going to be respected for its quality. I just hope I’m still alive when that day comes.

I would prefer not to die penniless.

              Please give Crazy of Natural Causes a try. Here’s where you can download it: http://www.amazon.com/Crazy-Natural-Causes-Monte-Dutton-ebook/dp/B00YI8SWUU/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1436215069&sr=1-1&keywords=Crazy+of+Natural+Causes

              Please consider my previous books, two of which are also novels: http://www.amazon.com/Monte-Dutton/e/B005H3B144/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1416767492&sr=8-1

 

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