Trailer Park Trash & Vampires, by James Wayland

IMG_0674            I have a confession to make. I am what, depending on the area of the country, is known as either a “fraidy cat” or a “scaredy cat.” I’ve never particularly cared for horror, be it a novel or a movie.

Many years ago, when I was home from college, my sister invited me to a party. I thought, well, that’s for her age group. I’ll be out of place. I stayed home, by myself, and started watching a movie called The Hills Have Eyes. It spooked me so much that I basically fled the house and went to the party.

I came back home three days later.

By Monte Dutton
By Monte Dutton

I just read James Wayland’s Trailer Park Trash & Vampires. I enjoyed it. I doubt I’m going off on a vampire jag, nor do I know exactly what that implies, but I was wildly amused by Wayland’s blood-strewn satire.

It didn’t scare me because it was so damned funny.

The simple title is perfectly descriptive because the author pits the hapless denizens of a trailer park, in the dead-end crossroads of Little Drop, against a band of vampires, conveniently living there and anxious to revisit past glories of evil and gore. The “trailer trash” of the title is the prey of the vampires, and it doesn’t figure to be a fair fight. On one side are superhuman strength, bloodlust, and a total lack of pity. On the other are booze, weed, ignorance, and delusions of grandeur.

The outcome comes down to dissent in the ranks of both sides. In a setting of degradation, nobility arises in the unlikeliest of places. Some of the prey have virtues. Some of the hunters have flaws.

Personally, I laughed more than I gasped.

In any yarn worthy of perusing, the reader finds himself playing plot sleuth, trying to figure out who is doomed and who isn’t. Wayland leaves his hints and inserts his foreshadowing, but some are booby traps designed to give the reader a false sense of anticipation.

These vampires – Vlad, Lydia, Stan, and Ian – are hard to kill, even, in one case, when they want to die. They all find comfort in the inevitability of eternal damnation. Three relish the evil it implies.

Arrayed against the bloody bad is the motley crew. A teen-aged boy becomes a man. A drunk finds modest hope and reluctant courage. A brave lawman succumbs to lust and finds more than he can handle. The unlikeliest of heroes somehow find, deep in atrophied souls, a will to endure, to survive … to live!

It’s so over the top, so campy, so funny, that the reader never gets around to retching.

Next time you’re itching for a literary walk on the wild side, give Trailer Park Trash & Vampires a read.

              And, if you’re itching right now, buy it here:


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