Loony Tunes

Marvel at the wonder of Tennessee technology.
Marvel at the wonder of Tennessee technology.
This morning I learned that a picaroon is a pirate. I already knew a macaroon was a small circular cake. A Cameroon lost to Mexico and Croatia in the World Cup.

It’s June. There’s undoubtedly a moon in Rangoon. Daniel Boone was a man, what a big man. Nonetheless, occasionally he hunted raccoons. Beware goons hiding in the dunes. They’re all crazy as loons, though seldom before noon, a result of eating prunes too soon while watching cartoons.

Me? I’ve written too many songs.

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I didn’t plan to blog today, but I got the 29th chapter of a novel (alas, first draft) written, and it made me slightly giddy. I feel so accomplished from the chapter that I no longer feel any obligation to be coherent here.

And I don’t have a sketch to go with it. So here’s another one I didn’t draw.

I had a club sandwich for lunch, which was unusual in that I usually have breakfast but not lunch. This morning, however, revealed no milk for the raisin bran, and no sausage to go with the remaining two eggs, and no bread to make toast.

In other words, I was shit out of luck, so I waited and survived on coffee, which is always exhilarating, and eventually made myself presentable enough to drive uptown in my old truck because its engine would miraculously turn over, and on the way back, I was going to buy some sausage, eggs, milk, and bread, but when I went in the Family Dollar, the refrigerated units had shut down, and if I couldn’t buy sausage, eggs, and milk, I’m damned if I was going to settle for bread alone. By God, I’ve got choices. There’s a Dollar General nearby, too, so that’ll teach Family Dollar for letting its cooling apparati break down.

Most of this day has been spent writing about deluded, ruthless politicians. Far-fetched, I know.

Once upon a time, a colleague of mine expressed the view that I could write a column about anything. Specifically, he said I could write a column about taking a …. dump. (I carefully considered the merits of uncouth bluntness, but, as an old man in town said about my current novel, “With that education you got, you ain’t got to write that stuff.” Then again, I already used it once.)

I’m not going to write that blog until I’m really desperate, but this is a step in the wrong direction.


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