Those Fracking Cliches


See? I've seen Braves from time to time.
See? I’ve seen Braves from time to time.

“Let’s see if the Braves can exact some revenge on the Seattle Mariners.” I just heard Chip Caray say this.

Seldom is anything “exacted” except revenge. Seldom is anything wreaked except havoc, and if havoc is in town (or, oh, on a page), it is invariably wreaked. Mothers are seldom sick without also being tired. Most things are affected, unless it’s change, which is often effected.

'Tis healthier to be a batter than a batsman.
‘Tis healthier to be a batter than a batsman.

No punt returner can literally fly. All track records are new. A man standing next to a plate with a bat in his hands is a batter, unless he gets hit by a pitch, at which point he becomes a batsman. Veterans are most often crafty but sometimes wily. That’s in baseball. In military terms, don’t forget. Hire the vet.

Chip Caray just said, “Every Japanese pitcher in the big leagues has that exact same motion.” Really? Does he think all Japanese look alike in all the other areas. Nah. He probably has lots of Japanese friends.

Lots of batters (who haven’t yet been hit and morphed into batsmen) bring an invisible arsenal with them to the plate.

Evan Gattis has more homers than any catcher in baseball. He might have less than any catcher in the rye. I don’t know how much Holden Caulfield plays. He’s a wily veteran by now.

Cliches aren’t dwindling. I think it has something to do with fracking.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s