Every Day Is Fools Day


Is there really any need for April Fools Day? I mean, really, what’s the point?

I spent Monday, an exceedingly dreary day, thinking about possible hoaxes I could goodnaturedly foist upon the unsuspecting public.

Guess what? No one in the public is unsuspecting anymore.

They already suspect the president of being a socialist, a Muslim and foreign-born. They already suspect most science that doesn’t involve today’s weather is false. They think Jesus would’ve loved guns, which reminds me of the late comic Tim Wilson’s description of the Mormon faith: “Jesus: The Western.”

They think referees are getting rich preventing their favorite teams from winning. They think climate change can be disproved by what is going on outside their window. They think riches make people want to create jobs. They think it’s possible to gain knowledge from Facebook. They think advertisements are truthful but the government isn’t. They think everyone in Congress is a crook except the one representing them.

They think white people are at a disadvantage. They are jealous of the poor, not the rich. They think the framers of the Constitution envisioned a theocracy. They think people, not guns, kill people, so giving people guns is fine.

Dozens of things they think do not involve thinking.

Who are “they”? They’re fools who aren’t confined to April anymore.

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