World Is Crazy, Wrong Reason

Occasionally I hear someone ask, “Why should marijuana be legal?”

It seems obvious the question should be, “Why shouldn’t it?”

The status quo is more stupid than the Vietnam War, and it didn’t cost us 58,000-and-something lives. It definitely cost us 58,000-and-something happy lives. It’s equally as stupid as Prohibition, and marijuana, as President Obama thankfully noted, isn’t nearly as bad as alcohol.

You may think it’s worse. If so, I doubt you’ve ever tried it.

Lots of people apparently have the view that, okay, maybe it isn’t worse than alcohol. They think it doesn’t matter. They think, basically, we have enough things. We don’t need another one, and, besides, Budweiser is the Official Beer of Lots of Sports we like.

Hey, bub, weed could make lots of cool commercials, too.

Oh, my. The arguments routinely made and barely even challenged …

“I’m worried that it would make it more available to kids.”

It couldn’t possibly be more available to kids. Are you aware that, in states other than the enlightened ones, weed is equally illegal to someone who is 12 and someone who is 62? In fact, it could be easier to get for the 12-year-old. Not only doesn’t marijuana kill. Marijuana isn’t “carded.” One of the reasons lots of kids smoke weed is that weed is easier to get than beer. Not only is the notion absurd; it’s barely even disputed.

“I’m just afraid it’s a disturbing trend that could lead to more and more drugs being legalized.”

Ah, the Domino Effect. Guess what, folks? The voters always have a line-item veto.

“Today, it’s not just the reefer we fooled around with when we were kids.”

For most people it is. It may not be the same as what was being passed around at the party depicted in the movie This Is the End. That shit Zack Galifianakis is smoking isn’t the same as the homegrown your neighbor’s cousin is growing. It couldn’t be, or else your neighbor would be totally paralyzed and the world would end.

Most adults don’t go off like the Biebs. In fact, I’m not sure the Biebs goes off like that just on pot. That boy may be on something else.

Plus, it’s just one more example of old people saying “what we did was great but I don’t want these kids doing it.” It’s 2014. I can go to the store and legally buy moonshine, for chrissakes.

Alcohol has taken a terrible toll on my family. I’m still not against it. I drink a little. Not much. Three people in my family died a lot sooner than they should have because they were drunks. If all they’d been were stoners, I’m almost positive they’d still be alive.

I have to hold my tongue. The subject is avoided in polite society, or at least people keep their voices down. With voices down, it’s amazing how many people admit there doesn’t seem to be much that’s all that bad about marijuana. (Translation: You don’t happen to have any?)

If it gets on the ballot, man, it’ll pass. It’s just so hard to get on a ballot here in a world that perpetuated slavery, wars, disease, et al., for so long.

A buzz is just way better than a disease.


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