A Futile Attempt to High-Def What Happened

College football has dwindled down to nothing. The great winnowing out is well under way in the pros. Parting from each sport, in its turn, is such sweet sorrow.

Autumn nights find me inexplicably watching Bowling Green play Buffalo. Sleepless Saturday nights are extended by Boise State or Fresno State playing some other State.

Then, just to instill the Christmas spirit, arrive those delightful minor bowls, the ones with names like Breitbart.com Entrepreneurial Bowl, matching Wharton Business School against Simmons School of Management.

I watch a little, read a little, play guitar a little, nibble a little and otherwise only get excited when the announcers do. It’s actually possible to get work done even when the first game begins at 11 a.m. and the last at 10:30 p.m.

Then it’s time to trade quantity for quality, even though, as ESPN’s family of channels attests, both are important. Some of the early bowls are fascinating. Can Southern California, having a shitty year, beat Fresno State, having a great year? In this year’s case, yes. Early on, the Talented & Unmotivated against the Eager & Overchieving is common among bowls.

Among my conclusions …

I’ve still got no idea how in hell Oklahoma beat Alabama.

Central Florida is really good. The victory over Baylor was not a fluke.

No one noticed, but Arkansas State-Ball State was a really great game. (Arkansas State won, I think.)

Watching fans go apeshit on Twitter and Facebook is really fun, especially when they go apeshit way too early.

Johnny Manziel still should have won the Heisman Trophy. I fully expect the bold little bastard to get maimed in the NFL, but it’ll be fun while he lasts.

And now to the aforementioned NFL, where plenty of bells and whistles, mainly whistles, remain to be … blown (or rung) …

Cam Newton is the only quarterback who, when tackled, makes me worry that the defensive player might get hurt.

I get tired of seeing quarterbacks solely judged by whether they “win it all.” That’s only a small measure. Their numbers aren’t as good in the post-season? Well, guess what? Those teams are better. No one gets to play the Jaguars.

So many of the “fun facts” being circulated are meaningless. Jim Brown rushed for 1,863 yards in 12 games. Expanded to a 16-game regular season, that’s 2,484. If there’s a God in heaven, Brown still owns that record, but in the eyes of hype-blinded, modern record keepers, there isn’t.

I fail to understand why Andy Reid can do everything except manage a clock. That ought to be at least as easy as balancing a checkbook.

I’m sure I could come up with more, but, baby, it’s cold outside.


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