The Bowl System

Democrats evolve. Republicans don’t. Libertarians devolve.

Exceptions exist, of course, in all three categories. It’s similar to rules of grammar.

Perhaps I’m a reluctant Democrat. It’s hard to put up with the bullshit, but the only hope of advancement, however slim, rests with the Democrats.

One reason we can’t get a damned thing done in this country anymore is that the self-appointed geniuses who study polls, propaganda and the like have turned politics into a football game. It’s win at all costs, and fuck the common good.

What’s more, the championship is seldom conclusively determined on the playing field. Obama won the Affordable Care Act and a second term to his presidency, or, in other words, the Orange Bowl. But Republicans took the House, which is, like, the Cheetos Tostitos Bowl Presented by Lay’s Potato Chips. Somehow they feel as if they have a claim to the title.

One problem with “the system” is that people whose heart is in the right place give up on fixing it. A man can only bump his head against a wall so long before he starts suffering from concussions.

The Libertarians want to take us back to “dear hearts and gentle people who live and love in my hometown,” which would be nice if such places existed. Small towns take their marching orders from Walmart nowadays.

At least, though, the Libertarians are honest, if cracked. That’s as positive a view as I can muster. A more pessimistic view would be that Libertarians are really only Republicans who want to smoke weed, and while I sympathize, there’s no intellectual integrity in that. I would imagine the sweet Libertarian nothings play well with a weed haze. In fact, it explains a lot.

Pity the poor Republicans. They are victims of their greatest trick. Their creation, and considerate funding, of the Tea Party created a monster so fierce that it turned on them.

They’re a pathetic lot, but they are dedicated in their stolid opposition to the Mythic Obama, the one who was born in Kenya and planted, Manchurian Candidate like, to tumble baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet.

They hate the cartoon character, not the president. They’ve never been fitted with spectacles that provide a balanced view.


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